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- SADNESS: It was a grief for the deep awareness of how things would be difficult from this very moment onward. This grief was mainly for my son, but also for my daughter, my wife, and myself. There was an intense melancholy for all the possibilities that were radically shut down and disappeared in that very moment.
- CLARITY: The diagnosis also provided clarity on what the problem was, and this was reassuring in a way. That moment of diagnosis gave birth to thousands of new questions. Will he be able to learn? To talk? What will the future hold? We had these questions because like so many parents we had no idea what having a child who couldn’t hear would be like. We really were starting from ground zero at the very beginning.
- RESPONSIBILITY: A deep sense of responsibility to my son, in order to be supportive and nurturing and trying to avoid the trap of becoming heavy and stuck. Also, a deep sense of responsibility to my wife, whose grief as a mother was profound. And, also to my daughter, because she needed all the love and attention and care as well, without any distractions.
- ANGER: There was also anger and rage and hate too. For all the time which was lost because doctors were unable to see what was happening to my son.
- AWARENESS: There was also a weird feeling of awareness, a sort of mix between deep inner peace, knowledge, and realization. I knew deeply that it would be hard, that some possibilities were gone forever. My son’s childhood would be different, and complex, and hard in some ways. There was nothing I could do about that. But at the same time I also deeply knew that the most important things in life are bound to the quality of the life we live. You are not what you are missing, or lacking; you are what you are.